No5 Young People Supporting Mental Health in Reading for over 50 years

My experiences of involvement with No5 was in the early days at Sackville Street. I recall my first, and only, attendance at Reading Pop Festival in 1973 was as a volunteer member of the team manning the No5 Help Tent.

We handed out slips of paper advertising what was on offer at the Tent. Our most useful purpose seemed to be as minders for young people who had taken too many drugs on the way to the Festival and had become an unwanted burden for their friends. Who were delighted to find us ready to look after their inebriated semiconscious liabilities. It was quite a serious responsibility deciding if and when to involve medics, I think we were grateful of the advice of the St John Ambulance volunteers who were also on site. I remember one lad asking what all the little lights were flashing on the ground – reflections off discarded Coke cans!

It was also through No5 and the fact that I had done a Reading University course on ‘Working with Young people’ that I had been introduced to ‘Non Directive Counselling’. Pairs of volunteers were asked to go to a local school to meet a group of pupils with the object to get them talking to each other about anything they chose – sounded easy enough – but not being a particularly confident outgoing personality I have to say I found it quite an embarrassing experience which I am sure was all too apparent to the participants much to their amusement!

In 1980 when my daughter was 14 years old, she was a steady, clever and calm girl. Full of life, adventurous with lots of friends and a firm view of her future. It all happened within months of her 15th birthday, her whole view of life changed. Misbehaviour at school, not engaging with friends and family, an underlying discontent with everything. We thought wrongly that it was all about being a teenager, a passing phase and through our patience and help, she would soon be back to her normal self. How naïve we were. Nothing seemed to work, she was totally changed and we felt helpless. Her unhappiness was rampant and her behaviour worsened. She would apologise and thinking that would draw a line under the situation and she would start afresh. After an incident at school, we were called in to discuss my daughter and how we could work as a team to help her. This is when No5 came into the picture and we booked a consultation. This followed with sessions with the consultant over a number of weeks. It really helped her and opened our eyes to the mental health issues young people have. There was a gradual realisation by all that she suffered and kept quiet about her mental health issues. Life has been up and down for our daughter but we have supported her and she was diagnosed with Bi-polar a number of years ago. Without No5’s intervention, our daughter would not be the woman she has grown to be.

At the age of 17, I was experiencing a troubled home life and as a result, in need of someone to talk to. My GP referred me to No.5 so I could receive some counselling. I don’t remember the person I saw, but I do remember how she often sat quietly in our meetings and let me just talk, offering a few words throughout the conversation to steer me and made me feel so much better. I came away from each meeting feeling relieved and able to reflect and make sense of the challenges I was facing, making me more positive and motivated.

It was a very tough year in my life, and at a pivotal point too. Luckily, I received the much needed counselling, meaning I was able to build and grow and continue with my education and become a strong enough person to accept my troubles and then leave them behind.

I am now in my late 30s, have a wonderful husband, two small daughters and a very successful career in marketing (which I am very good at balancing with a fun home life, I might add!) The counselling I received is a huge reason why I am the happy person I am today.

I started seeing Sue whilst on a waiting list for group therapy… the first few sessions I barely talked about anything other than the weather- but Sue was patient, and encouraging, and over the following months I opened up to her and came to rely on our sessions as a release. When it came time to finish, I was able to look back on how I was when I started and the journey I had been on with pride. Sue holds a special place in my heart for supporting me through a really challenging part of my life, and I’m really grateful that a service like no5 was there for me.

Difficulties with my mental health probably started far earlier than I initially realised – I was withdrawing from my family and friends and struggling in school.
My relationship with my Dad had broken down and I had been witness to domestic violence at home. I was very anxious, struggling to sleep, and couldn’t explain how i was thinking or feeling.
I was told about No5 by my Head of Year at school, who recommended I reach out to them and ask for help. My Mum called No5 at first, and I was then encouraged to call and talk to someone myself – that was the best call I ever made!

I had 20 weeks of counselling at No5 with a counsellor who made me feel safe and listened to. My counselling gave me a safe space to process how I feel feeling, be angry at the people I needed to be angry at without having to be worried about hurting their feelings.
My counselling helped me to understand that none of what had happened to me was my fault and that it was ok to feel how I was feeling about it. My counsellor gave me the confidence to talk about how I felt, and allowed me to be hurt, angry and sad.

Following my counselling, I became a Young Ambassador for No5. It felt really important to me to give back to the organisation that gave me my life back and allowed me to be me. I also wanted other young people to know that support was our there. As a Young Ambassador, I wrote and delivered talks and workshops in schools and local businesses, and represented No5 as fundraising events.
In July 2018, after graduating from university, I joined the staff team of No5. Now I look after all of our partnerships and support our Young Ambassadors with everything they do.

Without the counselling that I had at No5 I wouldn’t have been able to achieve any of the things that I have gone on to do

I had counselling at No5 in 2014 when I was 14 years old. I remember how calming it felt on my first session to walk up to a building that looked like a house and that this feeling was felt throughout the building too – I had thought it would look more ‘clean and clinical’ not warm and inviting – this helped to calm my nerves and anxiety of my first session.
No5 helped me through my tough and turbulent times I faced through my childhood and teen years. It was incredible to have someone listen to what I had to say who was patient when I was struggling to find the words to explain myself and being given the tools to create or draw what I was trying express. I was used to getting shut down or cut off before I could express my thoughts or feelings so having someone who was there to listen to me and what I needed to say even if it was ‘silly’ was so amazing to my 14 year old self. It felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders and I was not alone in it anymore.

I went from sitting at lunch with my friends with my headphones in not engaging to talking with them again, laughing, being more open about what was happening and being true to myself. I also learnt how to recognise when I was maybe beginning to feel anxious in places and now 7 years on I can still recognise this cue and so can the people close to me.

It was nice to be myself – more so than before as I had a deeper understanding of myself and my journey through life and how it makes me me! They helped not only me, but the relationship I have now with my friends and family! I wouldn’t be the person I am today without their support.

2 years later I returned to No5 as part of NCS and found out about their Young Ambassador Scheme. I just knew that I had to apply as I felt so compelled to give back as much as I could to the charity that gave me the stepping stones to my true self. After my visit to No5 with NCS, I told the group of people I was on the programme with about m experience their and the leader fed back to me about how inspiring it was to hear and the benefit she saw it have on the team. That moment further encouraged my need to volunteer at No5 as I wanted to help more young people who were just like me.
As a young ambassador I spent a lot of time telling my story through workshops and seeing things click in both young peoples and grown-ups minds was always the most rewarding part of delivering them. I also did many fundraising events such as Santa Runs, Reading Pride and even helped win funding for the Mindfulness Colouring Book! I also was a part of the hosting of 2 performing arts concerts.
All of this helped me grow even further as an individual and really boosted my confidence – 14 year old Abbie would not have imagined that she would ever speak in front of a class of 20 let alone 300+ people! During this time I became the Lead Young Ambassador in 2018 furthering my involvement with No5.

In 2021, I joined the No5 staff team as their Projects Coordinator and am so proud to play an even bigger role at No5 and help them through supporting more young people! I cannot wait to see what the next 50 years brings for No5 and wonder how I will stay be involved when I’m 71!

My connection to No5 is not typical – I haven’t been a client, nor worked in a traditional voluntary role. I came across the work of No5 when I began studying counselling skills back in 2016. Fast forward to January 2019 and I discovered that the organisation was looking for a volunteer to research its history for the upcoming 50th anniversary. Being an archivist, the ad piqued my interest. Before I knew it, I was visiting the Oxford Road premises on my day off to delve into the archive boxes. This led me to investigate other records held elsewhere – council minutes, reports, newspapers and the like.

Sometimes, boxes or shelves of papers and photographs can seem on the surface uninteresting or meaningless to the present, but when you delve into records and piece them together, you can find hidden gems and powerful stories.

I discovered that No5 was featured in the 1972 BBC TV series ‘Working with Youth’; in 1977 its Director Ken Humphreys was involved in the birth of the British Association of Counselling; a Youth and Community committee report in 1988 praised No5 for ‘leading the field’; and by 1994 it had developed into ‘the country’s premier youth counselling service’. From the very start No5 has had an annual presence at Reading Rock Festival and in 2015 it was crowned Charity of the Year at the Pride of Reading Awards. It has also, for many years, been at the forefront of provision of training and CPD for its volunteer counsellors. This is just a tiny snapshot of the achievements of No5. We have uncovered a fascinating history that would be too long for a short blog post here.

Why does the history of No5 matter? From its very beginnings in 1971, the records reveal that No5 has been a pioneer in youth counselling. This is the thread – the story – of No5 that runs throughout its history.

Why did I choose to volunteer at No5? I have personal experience of the power of counselling, not as a young person, but as an adult, and I know that good therapy can be life-changing. My passion for therapy and archives allowed me to immerse myself in the story of No5 that has been a privilege for me to undertake.

Whilst we don’t have to stay rooted in the past, an understanding of it can help us gain insights and lead us into the future. This is true of both history and therapy. The history of No5 has ultimately shown me that with the right team of people, great things are possible and the difference it has made to many young people’s lives over the last 50 years is worth celebrating!

I became a Young Ambassador for No5 during lockdown in the summer of 2020. One of my favorite memories was working with Abbie on a video “Why don’t you become a plant parent?” It was really fun working on something with a potential to make a difference with a person I never met who I quickly became friends with – ALL ONLINE! We ended up creating a nice and fun video with ideas about interacting with plants during lockdown and how that can help a young person look after their mental health. And I’m really grateful to No5 for this opportunity.

I first heard about no5 from my Rotary Club and heard that they were seeking new Trustees. I was very interested to learn about the work they did and contacted Alyson, the Director. I was very impressed by the forward looking, caring and dynamic approach of the organisation and it was agreed that I would become a Trustee.
My reason for wanting to be involved in an organisation which was providing free, confidential counselling for young people was based on my experience as a Youth Magistrate where I felt that a large number of the young people in my court would not have been brought into the Criminal Justice system if they had been able to access counselling earlier in their lives. Also in my role as a Special Needs Governor at a Primary School, I realised how inadequate the youth mental health services were for young people in need.
Since becoming a Trustee I have been very impressed by the caring attitude and drive of the staff and their ability to overcome major funding issues and all the issues arising from Covid – having to move from face to face counselling to virtual and phone counselling. They have also had to deal with unprecedented demand for counselling from young people affected by Covid.
I was very fortunate to be involved in the organisation of a Young People’s Performing Arts Concert in 2019, which showcased the talents of local young people. A particular feature of this was the involvement of No5’s Young Ambassadors, who spoke about how counselling from No 5 had helped them.
Sadly, the concert planned for 2020 did not happen because of lockdown and it is not likely to happen in 2021. I look forward to being able to help organise another Concert in the not too distant future and doing whatever I can to help No 5 succeed in the future.